Here Comes the Sun

14 Mar

Dearest Ophelia,

Something amazing happened this winter. Something that hasn’t happened to me since I was a young child. This winter I’ve made it all the way to March without experiencing seasonal depression. True, it has been a somewhat mild winter here in the Bay Area, but hey, I lived in San Diego for four years and even then was not able to escape my annual bout of despair and sadness. This year I worried even more that winter would mean a complete emotional hibernation with the addition of all those lovely postpartum hormones swimming through me. But somehow I was spared. I’m pretty sure I have you to thank for that.

All the sleepless nights (ok not sleepless. But certainly “sleep less”), loss of personal time and the inability accomplish anything without simultaneously jiggling a newborn on my hip, all of that has felt, dare I say…easy. Oddly enough, I felt the same say about your birth. Though it was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced and I harbored my doubts along the way, the whole thing went off without a hitch. Yes, motherhood (and you) have been incredibly good to me and I think that has made it easy to enjoy our new life together.

But I am certainly not under the illusion that life will always be this way. And while you may be a very “good baby” (by the way, I hate that term. It implies that babies that cry often are “bad babies”, which is of course, BS) I know that you will have your own good and bad days, and maybe even your own good and bad seasons like myself. It is not your job to be the “good baby” or “good kid”. It’s my job to be the good mother and to make the transitions throughout your life easier. At the same time, it is also my job to make myself happy. Not just for myself, but for you too, so that I can give to you. Winters may not always be this easy peasy but there are so many good things to remember, so many things that make me happy. I wrote a list to remind myself of those things. I’m sure the list is endless but I’ve cut it off at 50. 50 things to remind myself of when it feels like the rain just won’t stop coming, literally and figuratively. 50 simple things that remind me that life is good, just like you do. And even better is that more and more we will be able to enjoy these things together. Some of them may seem too simple, or maybe even odd but I am a firm believer that happiness can be simple. Sometimes it must be simple when the bigger picture is somewhat bleak. I need to learn to love simple pleasures more and I need to teach you the same thing.

I love you, babycakes!

Mama

 

In no particular order, here they are!

  1. Shopping at thrift stores
  2. Sewing
  3. Making felt crafts
  4. Writing
  5. Going to the fabric store
  6. Eating on the patio at Jupiter’s on a sunny day, avec beer
  7. Crossing things off my list
  8. Hiking
  9. Picnicking at Tilden
  10. Going to the Exploratorium
  11. Taking drives
  12. Baking and decorating cakes
  13. Watching movies and falling asleep on the couch
  14. Going to sleep in a bed that’s been made
  15. Reading Martha Stewart
  16. Blogging
  17. Reading other peoples’ blogs
  18. Reminiscing
  19. Ordering appetizers AND dessert with a meal
  20. Going to garage sales/ flea markets
  21. Photography
  22. Taking hot baths
  23. Drinking cocktails made by Rob
  24. Making pancakes on Sunday morning
  25. Deep conversations
  26. Weekend trips to new places
  27. Spending time at my parents’ house
  28. Hot tubs
  29. Making/buying things to pretty-ify the apartment
  30. Waking up to a clean apartment
  31. Waking up early and getting things done
  32. Waking up to Ophelia
  33. Reading until I fall asleep
  34. Watching my plants grow
  35. Girls’ Nights
  36. Playing Scrabble (and winning)
  37. Lunch with friends
  38. Writing our weekly dinner menu
  39. Daydreaming about future international travel
  40. Actually traveling internationally
  41. Making lists
  42. Pinterest!
  43. Reading old letters and looking at old pictures
  44. Taking walks around Lake Temescal
  45. Waxing my eyebrows
  46. Getting a nice haircut
  47. Listening to audiobooks
  48. Talking on the phone with friends
  49. Tuesday night dinners with Mary
  50. Summer plays at CalShakes
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